This week, I shared a personal update on the show. I’m currently working on two big things: (1) improving my physical health and (2) learning how to scream less at my children. Both are adventures!
On the physical health front, my primary goal is to lose weight, but several months ago, I noticed some evil PMS. Not wanting to jump back on Zoloft, I saw a new primary care physician. She is a naturopath, which means she went to medical school and passed all her boards but rather than fire off prescriptions, she suggests supplements and ways to naturally take charge of my health.
I’ve been slowly getting back results from various blood tests. I learned that I have hypothyroidism, which means my thyroid levels are low. My doctor explained that this often happens when a person gains weight; and then, the hypothyroidism lowers metabolism and makes it difficult to lose the weight. Hello! So I am now taking a medication and supplements to get my thyroid back to where it should be.
My cholesterol is also too high but hey, my vitamin D is exactly where it needs to be. Yay, I’m getting enough sunshine, and that’s good, because time outside combats depression.
I’m currently taking eleven different supplements but the long-term goal is for me to just take a probiotic, vitamin D, and a multivitamin (but only one or two months a year.) This is manageable. Eyes on the prize!
On the screaming front, I want to stop yelling because I know it’s not ideal for my kids. But also, it’s bad for me. I feel shit lousy after I yell and my body feels rattled for hours and hours after. Most recently, I screamed at Pippa on her last morning of preschool because she did not listen to me and go to the bathroom when I asked but instead waited until I told her it was time to go. I got outraged because I had a babysitter watching Julian, and Pippa’s delay was eating up my precious minutes of Me Time. But even as I started yelling, I knew I was overreacting. And yet, I could not stop myself. I felt a bit possessed.
I didn’t like that feeling. And I didn’t like how I felt agitated for hours after screaming.
So I wrote about it. I journaled and journaled and I know that if I pay attention and get really curious about the who/what/when/where/why of my screaming attacks, I’ll get to the bottom of this issue and find a way to better manage my feelings. Right now, this is a work in progress. As is the rest of my life. I suppose it would be awfully boring if I ever got all my shit together and could just hit the cruise control button on life.